An Erotic Life

While writing recently, it's occurred to me that writing these could read a bit like "Dennis Reynolds: An Erotic Life" if I'm not careful haha. Any resemblance is purely coincidental, though I kind of don't mind given how much I love It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. If you've never seen it, do yourself a favor and see it.  I couldn't find the full clips but if you watch the partial clip below, you'll see what I mean haha. Enjoy!

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia - Season Four at IGN.com

Dirty Weekend pt. 3

Goodness, it's taking longer to finish this then I had planned! I guess I could have just done one really long post and been done with it, but that would just be too long. I could have also trimmed it down but then again, I warned you at the beginning that I could be verbose and I like details anyway haha. Alright, I'm talking too much already.

So, as mentioned, Cory's friends were getting pretty upset that she drove all that way not to visit them and so we decided to go our separate ways. Still, a bit turned on from our session, I told her via text, "I can't stop thinking about how good your mouth felt around my cock!" I didn't really expect a reply immediately, or even at all, but very quickly she replied, "Wanna feel it again? My friends got pissed at me and don't want to hang out anymore, so you should come back." Without delay, I rushed back to her hotel (though traffic made it more of a crawl), and before I could say much, she had me on the bed, pants around my ankles, doing what she does best.

With her tongue, she slowly traced circles along the bottom ridge of the head; licking the tip occasionally. The sensitivity was overwhelming and just when I thought I could take no more; she enveloped my cock with her warm and talented mouth. I could tell she knew what she was doing; she had the timing and movement down just right. She went through this cycle a few times, changing the order as she saw fit: teasing the head, sucking the shaft, sucking my balls, licking the tip, stroking the shaft and head while encouraging me, "C'mon, cum for me baby!" Soon enough, my legs tightened, my back became arched and I shook in orgasmic pleasure. My cock trembled as she continued sucking and swallowed my cum. When finished, she did as before and cuddled up close to me. 

We laid there for sometime, just kind of chatting and relaxing. She turned over on her stomach and I again started rubbing and caressing her back; this time I even threw in a little head rub. I'm not gonna lie, I was kind of curious if the back rub would turn her on again and sure enough the wriggling and writhing began. She moaned and with that I knew she was ready for more. I leaned in, kissed her, and then turned her on her back. I licked and sucked on her nipples. I even nibbled and tugged on them a bit, having learned earlier that she loves that. I started rubbing her clit and felt how wet she was, so I gently put a finger in. After hearing her approving moan I put another in and slowly pushed and pulled my fingers in and out. Her g-spot was really easy to find and apparently very sensitive, so I rubbed it with my fingertips while rubbing her clit with my thumb. She very visibly (and audibly) enjoyed it and as much as I wanted to replace my fingers with my cock I decided not to mess with something she was enjoying so much. Soon she began to buck her hips, making it slightly difficult to get consistent strokes. We made it work though, and soon she tightened her legs around my arm and came in her signature vocal style.

We planned on having a bit more fun but our lack of sleep eventually caught up with us, so we cuddled a bit more and unexpectedly fell asleep in each others arms.  Thankfully I woke up in time to pick up my wife from the airport though! So once again, we got dressed, made out in the parking lot a little and said goodbye. We'll see what happens next time she's in town!

Dirty Weekend pt. 2

Soooo... picking up where I left off; things with L didn't go exactly as planned. However, as mentioned before, I did get a surprising number of replies from my post on craigslist, so I decided to write a few back and see what happens, especially given L's busy schedule for who knows how long. That said, I'd like to introduce you to a couple new friends; lets call them Dawn and Cory.

To save a bit of time and some pretty tedious details, Dawn and I have been writing each other since that weekend and have made a couple tentative plans to get together but our schedules have been quite conflicted. OK, now on to the hot part!

Saturday, I was extremely busy and just didn't really feel like putting much effort in; admittedly discouraged after Friday's disappointment with L. So came Sunday; when I started talking to Cory. As with L, chatting with Cory started out very innocent. In fact, she very quickly told me that she was an unhappily married woman living in Nebraska and as such, only intended to chat, nothing more. Bored beyond belief I decided to chat with her, even though it appeared our agendas were very different. So, like I said, it started out very innocent and with little expectation. Strangely, once the rules were established, almost like a switch, things got very sexual. She explained how twice a day sometimes isn't enough for her, which turned me on given that twice a month is often too much for my wife. Unfortunately the only women I seem to meet who are that sexual are my friends' wives (figures haha), so meeting someone that sexual is a huge turn on for me. Pretty soon we moved to texting, as it was much faster than emailing, and before I knew it we were sharing fuck fantasies. I explained how much I wanted to see a woman get herself off, in real life, since every girl I'd ever been with was too shy to do that. I don't know how I end up with these girls haha. Anyway, she responded by sending me two videos of her masturbating. One was just her rubbing her clit, the second was her pussy pulsating and contracting after a couple intense orgasms. SO HOT!

By the time 5am rolled around, we had been texting for about 7 hours! She works the graveyard shift and I didn't have to work Monday so luckily neither of us was seriously damaged haha. We spent pretty equal portions talking about sex, talking about life and sending sexy pics to each other. Finally, barely able to keep my eyes open, we decide to end our little chat. Before we stop though, she finally confesses her little secret. She informs me that she actually has some friends in Denver and that she was going to visit them soon. Soon as in that same day when she got off work! Apparently she visits fairly often and stays overnight to get away from her husband. That being the case she asked if I wanted to meet for lunch and hang out a bit. I didn't really feel like it so I politely declined. 

Just kidding! Like I really declined!

Hell yeah I wanted to have lunch and hang out; I knew what she meant by hang out and I loved the idea that there was already a hotel in the works; a neutral spot to let go, free of vomiting dogs haha.

So, we meet for lunch, chat a bit and she asks me back to her room. Without hesitation, I accept the invitation, trying my best to play it cool and not assume. However, all that nonchalance was not necessary; as soon as we got in the room she closed the curtains and strolled over to me with a lustful look on her face that easily gave away her intentions. Mmmm, perfect! She pushed me down on the bed, straddled me and immediately began kissing me. We paused briefly to exchange our delight that the other was a great kisser and got right back to it. She assertively (which I love) undid my pants and sucked my dick like an expert. She had bragged a bit about her oral skills but I had no idea she was that good! She brought me right to the edge and I couldn't take it anymore, but before I came I used one of her texts against her. I pushed her onto her back, helped her put her legs up against my chest and forcefully pushed my cock into her warm pussy; just like she described in her texts. She wasn't kidding about that doing it for her; she was ready to cum almost immediately. She was loud too, which was another welcome change compared to what I'm used to. I love love love seeing/hearing/feeling a woman who's really into it. So with her involuntary cues, I fucked her hard like she likes; her moans getting louder and louder, until she grabbed a pillow, covered her mouth and uttered several piercing screams as she came. I came shortly after and collapsed next to her.

Then.... we held each other for awhile. That part, to me, was nearly as great as the sex was. I think I've kind of touched on this before but my wife isn't really very touchy, so it was amazing to have someone scoot in close to me and want to just lay there and be held. We'd kiss a little, then she'd pull up even closer to me, almost like she was trying to crawl under my skin, and we'd kiss some more. So great! I started to rub her back and I soon found out that was a huge turn on for her; she started squirming and moaning, which always gets me excited, and before I knew it I had another condom on and I was fucking her from behind.

We laid down once more and the same routine started; hug, kiss, rub, fuck. Unfortunately, though, before we could get to the fuck step she got several texts from the friend she was in town to see in the first place and alas it was time to part ways. We lethargically got dressed and did a little farewell kissing. This was her only night here and my wife was coming back that night, so this was likely the last time I'd see her, at least until she came back to Colorado. Or was it????

Dirty Weekend pt. 1

Alright, so I've been way too busy (or maybe just lazy) to finish catching up on the recent developments that I said I'd post. Enough excuses... the time has come haha.

Here's a little back-story before I explain. The events to be discussed took place about a week and a half ago (wow, I can't believe it's taken me that long!). Anyway, what a weekend it was! My wife left town for the weekend and I was horny as ever; no surprise there haha. So, in my state of arousal and in keeping with my new resolution, I decided to post an ad on craigslist. Please allow me to digress even further. Now, I don't know if any of you have ever posted to CL before, but let me tell you, for a guy it's a miserable place to be. Actually I hear it is for women too but for very different reasons. For men, it's a minor miracle to get a response to an ad; usually it's just spam. My guess, given what I've heard from a few females, is that with the number of women vs. men on CL, women often are able to be a bit more choosy, thus an average looking guy like me isn't really at the top of the list haha. I'm not being bitter; I'm just stating my experience. Trust me, I feel for you women too. I hear you are deluged with responses; many from some pretty unsavory characters with some pretty unsavory tastes in kink. Back to my story. So I posted an ad and said miracle happened. Actually it was pretty weird, I got a lot of responses; good ones too! I may have to break these up a bit now that I think about it because there were several women involved and the plot continues to thicken, but here's where it started.

So the first girl I talked to, we'll call her L, was that Friday night. My goodness she got me hot! It started out fairly innocent but we quickly hit it off and very soon things escalated. She promptly started sending me things like "I want you to pull my hair while you fuck me from behind!", then she sent me a picture of her perfect breasts, nipples erect. She then asked to see my dick, so I obliged and sent a picture. I'll cut to the chase; things got hot and she asked me to come over as her husband was still working, till about 1am. I almost didn't make it actually. The torrential rain made navigating the nearly flooded highway almost impossible with good windshield wipers. So, wouldn't you know it, all of the sudden my trouble-making left windshield wiper flies off its arm leaving a metal stump scraping across the glass? I'm too close to stop now though! So, I keep driving (even if for no other reason than to find a good place to wait for the rain to stop) and I notice someone is flashing their headlights at me in the distance. I'm not sure what for at first but I eventually get to L's street and realize that my problematic electronic system has blown my taillight fuse.... again. This is the part where I tell you I hate my car. Finally, though, I arrive at L's house and I can't help but think, "Wow, what's wrong with me? All this for sex?...... Hot.... steamy sex?" The answer was yes... don't judge me haha. 

At long last, I knock on the door; we greet each other (I'm also greeted by several dogs she's watching, including a sick one that she just took in) and proceed to the bedroom. Things went very well at first. We kissed and removed clothes. I sucked on her lovely nipples and rubbed her wet pussy and clit as she leaned her head back, obviously enjoying the attention that she hadn't received in some time. Unfortunately, though, my ordeal getting to her side of town, cut our time before her husband would be on his way home very short, so we had to forego the foreplay and get straight to the fucking. I was surprised how willing she was to get right to it despite so many obstacles saying "not tonight." On my way, I thought for sure I'd get there, she'd look at the clock and tell me there just wasn't enough time. In reality there wasn't, we were both obviously feeling a little rushed, but I'm still impressed she tried. Anyway, clock in our peripheral, she gets on all fours with me inches away from entering her and satisfying the aching we had both created over the hours of texting that preceded. It was just then that something that couldn't be overlooked happened. The newly acquired dog, the sick one, puked all over the floor outside the bedroom. She quickly rushed to her feet and said "I'm so sorry; I just can't do this with that sitting on the floor out there." Had we the time, we probably could have picked up where we left off, but we were already cutting it way too close and I really don't blame her for not wanting to finish with fresh dog vomit on the floor; it's not exactly a turn on haha. So, I promptly got dressed and headed for the door; her profusely apologizing and I continually assuring her that it's ok. Needless to say, I had to help myself when I got home. 

On a positive note, we're still texting and still want to meet, to try our little adventure over again. Our schedules aren't really lining up right now though, so we'll see. And so ends this chapter in my sexy/strange weekend. More very soon! 

Fleshlight

So, I recently did something, or rather, purchased something that I have always been curious about but never actually followed through with for some reason.... until now. I got a male sex toy haha; a fleshlight. Weird huh? Or is it? I don't know. Seems pretty normal and accepted for a woman to have vibrators and dildos (didoes?) but it doesn't seem so normal for a guy to have a toy. Or maybe I've just not heard of it much, probably because men are not as likely to share that kind of info with their friends as girls are. Still haven't tried it but I will soon and will share results.... including pie charts. Speaking of here's someone who really knows his way around a chart and may help with the plural spelling of dildo.

Catching Up... The Beginning

Ok I can't keep putting this off haha; it's time to catch up. Like I said, there have been some VERY interesting turns in events lately. I think I'll break it into a few posts for brevity's sake but here it goes. So....

Pretty soon after I get back from the aforementioned out of town work trip, my wife asks if I could show her how to do something on the computer. I forget what it was now but anyways, I did in fact sit down with her at the computer and we got to work. So I'm filling out some online form and I type the word "I". All of the sudden Firefox pulls up the recently used phrase "I just want a one night stand, is that too much to ask???"

What???

We both looked at each other and I immediately start searching, scouring my brain, to try to figure out when I typed that and why I was so careless as to not erase the history. After the longest second and a half in the world, we both say "That's weird." immediately after I try to cover my mistake with the excuse that Google probably auto-populated a commonly used phrase. My wife says, "That's kind of sad that it's so common." To which I respond "Heh... yeah." (Not the most thrilling dialogue haha). A couple minutes pass and we keep working, when suddenly my brain stops panicking and starts thinking logically. One by one, the pieces start coming together. I realize that I work damn hard not to make sloppy mistakes like that. I think, "Wait, I don't use Firefox for that kind of stuff. I use Opera because she doesn't and she won't look there. I clean the history every time I close it too, just in case. And I've never typed anything about a one night stand. If anything I've been looking for more of a FWB/ongoing affair kind of thing. Could it be that she typed that? No way! It's not possible! Or is it?" Anyways, we finish the project and go about our evening, as nonchalantly as possible. A couple hours pass and finally I'm alone enough to check the history. Unfortunately for her, she's not terribly good at sneaking things and doesn't really know how to delete the history or cover her tracks. Anyways, I check and sure enough, there it is. She had started (and subsequently deleted) a profile at a couple hook-up sites looking for a one night stand; this taking place the time before this time that I was out of town.

What???

So far, I've decided not to say anything about it. Partly because she hasn't actually done anything (that I know of), partly because I'm shocked and don't believe she'll take the next step and partly because I'm doing the same thing! This may be bad but I'm actually pretty curious to see if she does pursue it further. 

Then, along with the search for a one night stand I also found a bunch of porn she had looked up, which I've talked with her about before. She looks up all these creampie videos and I'm like "I'll do that to you all day long! But for some reason you don't wanna fuck!" Sexual hypocrisy! haha 

I don't get any of this at all. I'm not really sure what's going to happen with us moving forward but I do know we are moving in opposite directions. More later.... 

A Long Silence

Well, I've been pretty quiet for awhile. Unintentionally, but quiet regardless. I had to leave town last minute for work again and while I have internet in the hotel, 14 to 16 hour days aren't exactly conducive to good writing haha. I'm really in the mood to write right now but I still need to do some catching up with life outside the information super highway (haha). Anyways, some interesting developments have come up recently that will most definitely be covered soon.

TMI Thursday

Wow, I'm up way too late (or way too early) and just figured now would be a good time to do a TMI since it is Thursday now.

I know sooo many TMI's have to do with sex, so I kind of hate to do that to you, but I'm gonna do it anyways because talking about sex is probably the easiest way to give TMI and it's my first one on this blog. Plus I just partook in the activity to be discussed so it's kind of fitting. That may be TMI already haha. Anyways, here goes.

Take a trip with me, if you will, back to my early teen years. I was a boy who had just discovered the joys (and guilt haha) of masturbation. It was amazing and I was pretty good at it, but alas, something was awry and I couldn't shake it. See, I'm right handed, thus I used my right hand to masturbate. Seemed reasonable to do it that way, except that one day I started thinking and realized I masturbate with the same hand that I do everything else with. Of course, I always washed my hands (very thoroughly) but at the time it just seemed weird that I used my masturbating hand to make food, or to do my homework, or to give a handshake; anything really. So with some deal of effort I switched hands.  

It sounds pretty ridiculous thinking about it now but nevertheless the switch from right to left stuck. I've tried using my right hand and it gets the job done, but the left is the one that really knows what it's doing haha.

So there's some TMI!

Weird

Disclaimer: After reading this again, it really sounds like I'm on something haha. I promise I am not. That's actually what makes what I'm about to say even more interesting, at least to me; I can't blame it on anything else. Anyways, I hope someone doesn't get the wrong idea haha.

--

So, something weird happened, again. It's like this: I'm sitting (remember, not under the influence of anything, at all) in my chair in the office, writing and listening to music, when this very strange sensation comes over me. It's happened before, but I thought this time I'd document it because it's so strange and surreal that it's often hard to describe later. Anyways, I get this weird feeling that my chair is suddenly too small; or that I'm suddenly too big for it. I have to be careful though because it's a difficult feeling to grasp when I notice it; almost as if it goes away when I pay too much attention to it. Anyways, it kind of feels like my legs and arms are too long and I have to reach up from this tiny seat (imagine a 6ft+ man sitting in an elementary school chair) to reach the keyboard. It's so surreal! And I kind of love it! In a weird way...

This isn't the first time I've felt something like this though. I remember, starting in youth, laying in bed, eyes closed, indulging this mental picture of me trying to pin something between my fingers. I could only see my fingers, complete darkness surrounding them, and it was usually a button, or even more commonly, a pen that I was trying to hold between my thumb and index finger. The weird thing was, in this little picture of mine, my fingers are HUGE and I can't quite get a hold of the object. I try and try, but can't seem to get a good grasp on it. I think it wouldn't seem so strange if it were just a dream, but it's not. It still happens to this day in fact, albeit not very often.

Hmmm... I wonder if anyone else gets these particular sensations.

My interest in the surreal actually goes beyond that too. I'm fascinated by sleep and dreams; I think because I have some pretty interesting sleep experiences myself. I don't have time to get into that part right now, but I will later for sure.

Oh and the whole huge fingers thing, reminds me of The Science of Sleep. I love that movie and the director (Michel Gondry) because he so deftly displays the art and emotion involved in the surreal.

Ok gotta go for real now.

Reason

I think now's a good time to clear up why I'm writing here instead of talking directly to my wife about these things. I know I said I'm not writing this blog for others (and I'm still not), but should someone decide to start reading it I want to clear this up.

I think a lot of people, me included, would read the previous posts and think, "Hey, why don't you just say something to your wife about it?" If anyone were reading, I'm sure I'd get comments about being open and honest with her. While I appreciate the concern and agree with you, there are a few main reasons I'm writing here and not talking to her about it; and I intend to clear that up now.

First, I have talked to her about most or all of these issues. In fact, that's where a lot of my frustration comes from; the fact that despite many attempts, ranging from incredibly subtle to embarrassingly overt, nothing changes. I realize I can't, and she can't change everything, but so often I just don't feel like she's trying very hard. I often don't even feel heard at all.

Second, she has a major guilt complex. Anytime I bring up something that displeases me or frustrates me or requires some act of change on her part, she feels like I hate her. She's never been catholic but she would be great at it, with her deft grasp on the concept of guilt and its application haha.

This last one I fully blame on myself, I just don't quite know how to get over it. When I bring something up I usually end up feeling like she's changing something out of guilt, not because she wants to. I'll use sex as an example, since I've posted about those problems the most. So, for instance, one day I'll mention the fact that I want more sex and better sex (more tactfully than that of course haha). Over the course of a couple days I notice a slight, though noticeable, increase in sexual activity. That's great of course, but the problem is, I can't help but think she's doing it to keep herself from feeling guilty or to keep me off her back rather than actually wanting me or wanting a better sex life in general. And I don't want it to be that way. I don't want it to become a chore, and I don't think it has to, but I just can't avoid feeling like she thinks it is. That's just one example. The same goes for other things too and it just leaves me feeling like my hands are tied. It leaves me feeling like I have to bottle it up, which is definitely not good and I've done far too much of that in my life; so here I am.

So, that's a brief summary of why I'm doing this. I'm sure there's more to it but I'm a little tired to write more right now.