I don't think I've mentioned this so far, but I'm a married man with a problem that is quite difficult to ignore. I know I'm definitely not the only guy (or person for that matter) facing this problem but I'm at least the only person in this marriage facing it; which, to be honest, pisses me off.
Anyways, my wife won't fuck me. I suppose I should say it's not that she won't fuck me; rather it's that she very rarely fucks me and said fucking is boring at best.
There are actually several things that make this especially weird and confusing to me. Here are a few examples: First, I'm definitely a "pleaser" in bed. I'm not above much when it comes to her pleasure. I'll lick, suck, caress, nibble, pinch and kiss whatever she likes. I'll fuck her roughly or make love to her gently; either way she likes, or both. She praises me for my "abilities" (when she actually takes advantage of them) and tells me I'm amazing, so it's not like she can say that I'm a poor or selfish lover. I make sure to give her attention outside of the bedroom. In fact, I may spend too much time with her, so it's not like she can say that we don't spend quality time together outside of sex. I also make a point to let her know often (very often) that I think she's beautiful too. Then there's this: In a case like this many think, and often correctly so, that their significant other is cheating. However, I know she's not cheating. I'm sure everyone says that but this I know for a fact. She loves me too much to even consider it, in fact, she's perhaps a little too in love with me, thus I can rule that out.
Without droning through every possible scenario, I really don't know why the sex is the way it is. I don't know, maybe she's just simply not needing much sex. What I do know, though, is that it drives me nuts and it's led me to an interesting conclusion.
I've been thinking about it for awhile but very recently finally got serious about it. I'm going to cheat. I don't think it's fair that all of her needs are met and mine are so severely ignored. Sometimes it makes me feel lonely, sometimes angry because I would do anything for her and in this area it seems like she wouldn't for me; it feels so inconsiderate. Anyways, I think I've made peace with the fact that sex just isn't a big deal to her and I can't change who she is. Likewise, neither she nor I can change who I am, and so, all these things considered I've come to my decision to cheat. *sigh*
I love, love, love sex. I don't need or want it everyday. I masturbate about once a week and once or twice a month I masturbate two or three times a day for two or three days in a row. I've lived with three men. (separate times of course)Of the three, one liked to have sex everyday and would get upset if I didn't want to or if I wasn't gung ho every time. I tried to compromise with him, we could have sex anytime he wanted but he couldn't expect me to be a sex goddess every time. I love sex, just not everyday....he could never understand that and when I wasn't in the mood and only performed half assed he would get angry and accuse me of seeing other men...it turned real ugly and I had to get out of the relationship. After reading this blog an the next blog about you finally having sex with your wife...it's sounds as if she likes sex just not as often as you. I'm sure she would be willing to give a little and you just have to stop second guessing why she's giving it more. She loves you and wants you to be happy...we all like to make our loved ones happy...accept what she gives you, no guilt trips and when she's really in the mood enjoy :) Cheating is ok, but I've found that long term relationships open up the door for so much more.
ReplyDeleteYeah I totally understand what you mean... the only thing is it's not an everyday thing that I want. Well I'd be happy with everyday of course, but I know for many adults that's a bit unrealistic. I guess I wasn't very clear about how infrequent it is now that I read it again. We have sex about once a month, sometimes a little longer between sometimes a little less. Part of my issue is, I know she doesn't like it as often as I do and I try to be reasonable but it just seems like soon sex will disappear completely haha. The other thing is, I don't expect her to be a sex goddess, it's just the routine has gotten boring, so even a little imagination would be a nice change. However, I do know that she loves me and I don't want to push her away in that regard, demanding more than she can give. I think that's how my decision to cheat came up. It's a way for us both to get what we want.
ReplyDeleteOh and I agree, a long term relationship would definitely be better. So, I am definitely looking for something ongoing. Not much luck so far though.
Ya, once a month is not a lot. I'm usually good with once a week and once a month a weeken sex fest :)Wish I could give you some addvice...
ReplyDeleteYep, not a lot of sex by anyone's standards haha. I'd totally be fine with that schedule. I wish there was advice to be had but that's how it goes...
ReplyDeleteJust catching up on some of your old posts.... that sucks.. I am in the same boat I could have sex daily and usually end up masturbating at least every other day. I am so open and will try anything but he does not feel sex is a priority and since we work dif schedules, once a month is lucky... GRRRRRRR
ReplyDelete*sigh*... I wonder why we end up with people like that; especially given that we at some point felt a high level of compatibility with our significant others and most of us knew what we needed sexually. 'Tis a mystery haha.
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